The Story of the Internet (or lack thereof)


Friday for me, was like Christmas morning. I was supposed to get my cable & internet installed. Yeah, that’s right. Supposed to….


(That’s pretty much the short version of what happened.)

The longer story, is as follows.

So I did my research and checked out with the local cable providers as to who was the best service. Insight Communications offered HD cable, DVR, and internet for $90 a month. AT&T offered their “U-verse” package for the same price, with slightly more channels. Already being an AT&T wireless subscriber (a.k.a. iPhone whore), I thought it would be best to go with them, for at the very least, I’d have three utilities on one bill and that alone would make my life much simpler.

Take note of that last line, as this story goes in the exact opposite direction.

So I call AT&T, get the install date (Friday), and make a mad-dash to rearrange my work schedule so I can be home for the cable guy. The bonus in all this, is that since I recently renewed my wireless contract with AT&T, as well as upgraded my phone to the latest Apple mobile device, AT&T offered me an additional $250 for adding internet and cable to my home-technological arsenal. That being the case, I was pretty excited. This meant (once again, keyword: meant) that I would be paying $10 a month for the first three months of service. Wicked awesome and much more within my budget than the original $90.

Friday rolls around and I go to work for a few hours, anxiously anticipating the clock turning to 1:00pm, at which time I coud depart and dash home to sit and eagerly wait for the cable guy. He was schedule to make his visit between 1 and 3. No, before you ask, I didn’t leave out cookies and milk (although when he did get there I was half a spoon deep in a jar of “Nutella,” and politely offered some to him). Once the jolly cable-guy came in, he looked around the apartment while confirming that he was there to indeed install cable and internet services. As we were talking, he casually walked over to my phone jack, unscrewed it and took a look at the inner-workings. In mid-conversation, he stopped himself and said, “Well, it looks like we won’t be doing this today.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah. We’re not allowed to drill in apartments and the wiring you have in your current phone jack is too hold to handle the data that we’ll be running through it. Even if we did try, it wouldn’t nearly perform up to the speeds that are capable for internet and HD-TV.”

“Shit. So what does that mean then?”

“Well, basically it means that SANTA ISN’T REAL!” (Actually he didn’t say that, but he might as well.)

That’s the story. So here I am, after 3 calls to AT&T to see what they can do about the situation, as well as bitch for false advertisement, I’m sitting at a Starbucks checking my email, paying my bills, blogging, and doing whatever else I do to waste time on the Internet. I called back Insight to see what their rates were and just for Internet alone, I’d be looking at throwing down $50 a month. The hook is, for an additional $40, I’d get HD-TV and a DVR, but I’m not sure I want to spend $90 on that quite yet. Oh well for now. Back to my mocha java shaken-not-stirred grande something or other.

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