A Tribute To The Ice Cream Man

Freshman year of college I took an English class, solely to fulfill the English requirement, which I needed to graduate.  I am not one for English.  I barely speak the language (properly, at least).  On a separate note, we used to eat at the same dining hall, every night for dinner.  And every evening, was this strange kid, who worked the ice cream booth.  Being a college kid with no self control or boundaries, I indulged in ice cream on a nightly basis, and therefore had steady interaction with said ice cream man.  For English, we were exploring the different types of literary formats, and were on the path towards poetry.  Ironically, one day the ice cream man put up a poem on the sneeze guard of the ice cream booth.  The poem was short, but illustrated how nobody appreciated the cafeteria worker.  Killing two birds with one stone, this got me an A on the assignment, and massive scoops of double dark chocolate for the rest of the quarter…

Plip plop dippity dape,
She dropped the stuff on my plate.
Handed it to me with a smile,
As I looked down at the pile,
Of dining food which greeted me,
With a bubble of joy and a burp of glee.
“What is this?” I asked aloud,
As looks of agreement scattered the crowd.
I took one bite which was too much,
And then spit it out in disgust.
“This isn’t food, this wretched taste,
It’s dining hall crap a.k.a. toxic waste!
Call OUPD and the FDA!
We need a quarantine without delay!”
Thus chaos broke out in the dining hall,
As kids ran to the bathroom stalls.
Suddenly the hall doors flew open,
Stopping everyone on the scene.
At the doorway stood a dark figure,
Carrying a delicious vaccine.
In strolled this man,
With no fear in his eyes.
And with him ice cream,
To my surprise!
A hero’s welcome,
He did receive.
The students cheered,
And began to believe.
That hope was not lost,
For it was plain to see.
The Ice Cream man was here,
And boy were we lucky.
He passed sugar cones,
To the left and to the right.
And dished out ice cream,
To the student’s delight.
This ice cream man was here,
To save the day,
With Mint Chocolate Chip,
And Peanut Buster Parfait.
And so stomachs were calmed,
And tempers subdued,
As the students discarded,
Their sickened mood.
“Thank you so much,
Mr. Ice Cream Man!”
“It’s no big deal,
I just do what I can.
But I must leave,
To save other halls,
And to check on the kids,
In the bathroom stalls.”
Without another word,
The ice cream man was gone.
A picture perfect hero,
A true and noble icon.
Well a tear fell down my cheek,
When our hero left us that day.
And I watched that tear fall down,
Into…my…hot fudge…sundae.


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